How I Drink Water

The nutrition facts and ingredients on a fruit punch Gatorade bottle.
The nutrition facts and ingredients on a fruit punch Gatorade bottle.

I like to drink water out of Vitamin Water and Gatorade bottles.

They hold a lot of water and the top is perfect for drinking without that “Glug-Glug” noise or spilling.

I can cap them for taking on hikes and their shape is just right for fitting in my back pocket.

I reuse the bottles. I only buy a new one when I lose an old one or when one melts in the dishwasher.

I keep a few of the bottles around my house and fill one up whenever I’m thirsty (often).

While on my vacation in Sacramento I left one of my bottles in the hotel room while I was at the festival.

When I came back my bottle was gone! The cleaning staff had removed the bottle when they changed the sheets, thinking it was trash!

The cleaning staff had the further audacity to think that the money I left on my desk was a tip and leave a tip envelope! (That was sarcasm. Hard to convey on the internet, I know).

I tipped them and gave up the bottle as lost forever.

I needed a new one though! I got the one pictured above today!

I took a picture of the ingredients label specifically because I noticed something new.

Gatorade previously had corn syrup in it. Now it just has sugar!

I am allergic to corn. It makes me itch a lot.

I love Gatorade though. I used to drink it all the time, but I would suffer for it.

And now I don’t need to!

I foresee a fridge filled with Gatorade soon.

-Mister Ed

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