I Used to Square Dance

Here's what I looked like when this story was taking place. Yeah...
Here’s what I looked like when this story was taking place. Yeah…

When I was about ten years old I took square dancing lessons.

I was homeschooled for most of elementary school and one of the other home school kid’s parents started a square dancing class.

I went to the first few lessons for free with a few other homeschool friends. Once we knew the basics we performed at a mall to try and attract other students.

I continued taking lessons after that, but my other friends stopped going. There weren’t a lot of replacements either. The mall performance ended up not panning out.

Often the lessons wouldn’t have enough people to form an eight person square. Even when we had enough people the girls always had to occasionally dance the men’s part (not that unusual for dance classes actually).

My mom kept taking me to the square dancing lessons for awhile. Thinking back on it now, part of the reason might’ve been because of the square dance teacher’s daughter.

We were about the same age and I can be fairly certain that she had a crush on me.

I think I would’ve felt the same way if I was into girls at that age, but I wasn’t yet.

I eventually told my mom that I wanted to stop going to the lessons. One of the other kids taking lessons there had really dry scaley skin and I didn’t like touching her skin when we danced because I thought I would catch leprosy from her or something.

Course I didn’t tell my mom that. I just told her that the time it took to drive to the lessons and back was about as long as the lessons took and I wasn’t really enjoying them.

My mom seemed a little bummed and I think it was because she’d wanted me to go on a date with the teacher’s daughter.

It’s probably for the best. The teacher’s daughter had curly hair and I’ve never liked curly hair. That relationship would’ve been even shorter than most middle school relationships (half a week instead of the usual week).

-Mister Ed

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Cartoon History

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I said in a previous post that I’m reading the Cartoon History of the Universe Part 3. Here’s the page I’m on now about Japanese civilization.

The Cartoon History series is now complete with five books. The first three are called Cartoon History of the Universe Parts 1-3 and the second two are called Cartoon History of the Modern World Parts 1-2.

The author’s name is Larry Gonick. He does a bunch of other cartoon non-fiction books as well.

I own Larry Gonick’s Cartoon Guide to Physics, Cartoon Guide to Chemistry, and his Cartoon History of the United States.

All his books are funny, informative, and quick to read. You can check out more of them at his simple website, www.larrygonick.com

I started reading the series in third grade when I was homeschooled by my parents.

Only the first two books existed then. I’ve read them cover to cover dozens of times since. This repeated reading is probably why I know so much about ancient history, but a lot less about anything after the fall of Rome.

I showed the books to my father-in-law recently because he was interested in the Roman Empire and the Holy Roman Empires.

His reaction upon flipping through them was surprise at the vast amount of sex in them.

Gonick doesn’t shy away from portraying the sexual scandals in his books. If sex between two people influenced their actions and their actions affected history, then he includes the sex.

I read the books when I was eight if that matters to anyone.

Gonick also writes a comic feature for the children’s science magazine, Muse. The magazine is written for ages 10-14.

The feature is a page comic of archetypal philosophers from different cultures talking with each other.

The philosophers also fool around and crack jokes in the margins of other articles throughout the magazine.

I’m rereading the later three Cartoon History books now so that I can fill the gaps in my natural recall of different historical periods.

I’ll probably need to reread it another dozen times before my recall of anything past 500AD is perfect, but I’m hoping that I’ll get there!

That’s all for tonight!

-Mister Ed